I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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