News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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