Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
