Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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