I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
