I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
