I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
