I haven't been this sober since birth.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
