i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
