Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
