living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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