Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
