I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
