i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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