You can't motorboat a personality
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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