There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
