isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize