Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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