I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We need a shit load of segways right now
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
