He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
