Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
even my farts smell like vagina
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
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