why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
