The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
