If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
