Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
