I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we should paint friendship bongs
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
