I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize