Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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