that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
