Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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