i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
