If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
