Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He? As in you personified your dick?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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