I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
