i barfeds in our rink
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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