the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize