I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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