He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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