is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
