Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
handjob tips. give me some.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
