My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
home. puking in laundry basket.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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