U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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