It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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