Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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