You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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