it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
