Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Randomize
