shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
