i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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