i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
