so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
