Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
