Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
