I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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