Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
