i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
