life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
