just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
