i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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