I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
