The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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