Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
ttyl tear gas
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
