Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
