If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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