Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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