I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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