He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
