And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
