Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
