I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
