I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
tell me about the fingering
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
