hell yes lets make some ravioli
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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