I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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